Four things my cabbie said to me last night

  1. “Your address is the same number as this cab. I’ve been lookin’ at it [the number] all day. Mind if I pull over and buy a Lotto ticket?”
  2. “Corrupt? Like someone slipped pornography in?” Referring to the the error message about a corrupt file in an aborted boot sequence of Windows 2000 on the tourist info LCD panel.
  3. “You see those people standing there staring at the wall under the highway? They are worshipping some image of the Virgin Mary in a water stain. Man, shit, she’s been poppin’ up a lot lately, hasn’t she? If you ask me, she ain’t a virgin no more. Maybe that’s why she keeps comin’ ’round. Why else would she keep appearing to all us sinners? We like to have sex. That’s it. I wouldn’t be surprised to see some guy humpin’ that wall, sayin’ ‘she ain’t a virgin no more!'”
  4. “Can you believe these gas prices? I tell you what, how come you only ever see one gas tanker filling up the pumps but you can select three different octanes? I think it is all the same gas. They just charge you three different prices.”