“Your address is the same number as this cab. I’ve been lookin’ at it [the number] all day. Mind if I pull over and buy a Lotto ticket?”
“Corrupt? Like someone slipped pornography in?” Referring to the the error message about a corrupt file in an aborted boot sequence of Windows 2000 on the tourist info LCD panel.
“You see those people standing there staring at the wall under the highway? They are worshipping some image of the Virgin Mary in a water stain. Man, shit, she’s been poppin’ up a lot lately, hasn’t she? If you ask me, she ain’t a virgin no more. Maybe that’s why she keeps comin’ ’round. Why else would she keep appearing to all us sinners? We like to have sex. That’s it. I wouldn’t be surprised to see some guy humpin’ that wall, sayin’ ‘she ain’t a virgin no more!'”
“Can you believe these gas prices? I tell you what, how come you only ever see one gas tanker filling up the pumps but you can select three different octanes? I think it is all the same gas. They just charge you three different prices.”
Welcome to another annual edition of recommendations for your spooky Christmas needs. (Click here to skip right to the reviews.) Last year I mentioned the few contemporary remnants of the Victorian-era love of wintertime ghosts, but the linkage between short, dark days and the urge for flesh-tingling storytelling goes back a lot further than that. Shakespeare in A Winter’s […]
I turned 50 last month. It’s a funny age. Old for sure, but not ancient; closer to the end than the beginning, statistically. Maybe because of that memento mori I seemed naturally to be thinking less about the present and more about the future — a future far enough out that does not include me. […]
Friends! I turn 50 years old on August 4. I’ll pause for old person jokes, but please speak up. 50 is an arbitrary milestone, sure, but I got myself a pretty great gift and I’d like to tell you about it. August 4 will mark 1,000 days since I gave up alcohol. It’s been the […]