Hakuna Matata in the Village

So it’s big news back home that Chicago police shot and killed a cougar in the alley not two blocks from my house. Coverage here.

A few years ago I was dropping some friends off and I am certain a coyote ran across the road. Others have claimed to see game like that in the city too, something about hungry animals following railroad tracks and the smell of human trash from the forest preserves.

But a cougar?! In the alley. God DAMN. Looks like I have trash duty from here on out, says thelovelywife.

So, Roscoe Village needs to capitalize on this, don’t you think? First thing to do is print up some t-shirts. Some slogan ideas.

Roscoe Village: Not All Our Cougars Are Middle-Aged Tramps

Roscoe Village: We Don’t Have a Rat Problem

Roscoe Village: Our Trash is Part of the Circle of Life

Submit yours today! And look twice in the alley.

2 Responses to “Hakuna Matata in the Village”

  1. Bryce says :

    Wow! I’m fairly certain I sent you a prescient tweet warning you about wild cougars a while back. Of course, I mean Demi Moore, but still…

  2. Jen McNulty says :

    Roscoe Village: FREE petting zoo for the kids on trash day.