A unique phone call

“911 emergency services.”

“Yes, hello. I just passed under Montrose Ave. in a canoe and the bridge is on fire.”

“In a canoe?”

“Yes, on the Chicago River. In a canoe. The bridge is on fire from underneath. Smoke’s billowing out across the river.”

“Ah … ok. We’ll have the fire department out right away.”

“Will you send fire boats that shoot water from giant nozzles?”

“Probably not, sir.”

[frustrated grunt] “I’ll keep paddling then. Good night.”