We’re all about penises today.
Wife: “Son, why are you holding your penis?”
Me: “Why not?”
Wife: [disapproving glare flashed my way]
Son: “Because it likes me.”
Me: [laughing into pillow]
Then, later, the same son spotted mommy in the bathroom.
Son: “Hey, you don’t have a penis.”
Wife: “That’s right. Boys have penises. Girls don’t. Mommy’s a girl.”
Son: “Well then you can’t live here. This is a boy penis house. But you can live next door so I can come outside and see you.”