Like a zoologist giddy with insight after long weeks of observing primates in the jungle, I have had a breakthrough. I will now share with you one of the secrets of parenting.

  1. If the two-year-old is silent he is about to do something bad.
  2. If he is laughing he is currently doing something bad.
  3. If he is crying he just finished doing something bad.

Use these non-visual clues to establish your own timeline of wrongdoing and tailor your parental strategy accordingly.