You may be wondering if the baby has come yet or not. The answer is no and the reason is obvious. Vito the Fetus (the in uteronym) is waiting to come later today. In fact, it is waiting just long enough for us to shove the kids off to their grandparents for the long weekend and to settle down to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary in some semblance of peace. Yes, today marks one decade since my girlfriend Robyn had the striking lapse in reason of saying “I do” when posed the fateful question. So now, as we wait for the birth of our child and the next “happiest day of our lives” I’m reminded of that first happiest day ten years ago. I thought I knew then how lucky I was, but of course that’s silly. Only looking back on what a special woman, amazing wife, and devoted mother Robyn has become can I even begin to compute the staggering odds against me finding someone so perfect.
For the rehearsal dinner ten years and one day ago I created a video of photos, music, and hilariously terrible on-screen graphics using two VHS decks and a 75MHz Gateway PC. We watched it again today. For one, it was way too long. I don’t know what the hell the audience was thinking while I stood up there and narrated, but each of the photos was on-screen for like 10 seconds. Interminable. Get this clown off the stage. But the really funny thing is that in the course of dubbing the tapes I screwed up somehow and spliced in a Home Shopping Network channel audio feed. This wasn’t heard at the dinner because my audio tape was separate from the video (high tech synching involved me signalling to my brother to press play on the deck across the room — I’m so ashamed), but watching it again with the HSN audio was truly surreal. Basically HSN 1996 sounds different in no way from HSN 2006. Still hawking the same crap with the same plastic enthusiasm. The dubbed video was a crazy blend (dare I say mashup) of nostalgia and hucksterism.
That last line may have seemed like an ironic comment on marriage, but no. Now if you will excuse me, we have to prepare for Vito who would like nothing more than to share a birthday with our anniversary.